Nourishing both Mother and Child⋆𖤓☽⋆
How Creative
Play
Unveils the
Middle Way
Earlier this year, I spotted two wooden unicorns at Dollar Tree and knew immediately they could become a meaningful creative activity for Río and me. What unfolded was much more than an art project - it became a masterclass in emotional regulation, creative problem-solving, and finding the middle way in motherhood.
The Middle Way of Motherhood
I've been exploring - both personally and with my clients - the extremes of modern parenting. Many of us come from generations where there was simply less awareness of the parent-child bond and emotional regulation. Now we've swung to the other extreme, where parents put tremendous pressure on themselves to create perfectly enriching lives for their children while never inflicting any damage.
This "superwoman mother" paradigm - where we're expected to excel at mothering, housekeeping, friendship/community building and work simultaneously at the highest performance - is unsustainable and unrealistic, and also unnecessary.
I believe creativity offers a pathway for unveiling humane, compassionate approaches that honor both our children's developmental needs and our own well-being - creating enriching experiences that foster growth while deepening intimacy and connection. This unicorn adventure would prove that theory in unexpected ways.
Creating the
Container
Meaningful creative experiences arise from the union of structure and flow - the bridging of masculine and feminine energies. The masculine provides the container: organized supplies, clear boundaries, protective surfaces. The feminine is the expression itself - authentic, free-flowing, an extension of our life force.
For our unicorn project, I gathered simple supplies that would create this optimal container: wooden unicorns from Dollar Tree ($1 each), small tubes of acrylic paint - I highly recommend a set from Blick, listed below, which has offered me, my family, friends, and clients abundant paint play without having to dive into color theory and mixing - medium brushes, aluminum foil for palettes, water cups, rags, and our permanent "art tablecloth" - an outdoor tablecloth from Target that protects furniture and eliminates worry about mess.
The activity naturally splits into two parts: first painting the base colors, then adding details with Posca paint pens (and gems if desired!) after everything dries. This structure provides multiple sit-down opportunities while allowing for organic creative flow - perfect for busy family life that needs both flexibility and containment.
The Joy of
Creating
Side by Side
Our first session was full of delight. Río and I approached our unicorns freeform - mixing colors, embracing imprecision, focusing on the sensory experience of paint and texture. Music playing from our speakers held us in a rhythm that encouraged play and exploration.
One of the most magical aspects of creating with a child is receiving their unfiltered, awe-filled presence. Río became fascinated by how her water cup changed colors, especially when we added gold and created swirls. Her commentary was constant and joyful.
Navigating the
Need for Approval
Throughout the process, Río frequently sought my validation: "Mommy, what do you think?" I've learned to offer commentary on her creative choices rather than generic praise. Instead of "It's amazing," I might say, "I love that red color you chose" or "It’s cool how you’re using many different colors on the body."
I also reflected questions back to her: "What do you think?" When she'd respond "I love it," I'd say, "Well, then I love it. I love that you love it." After several rounds of this exchange, her seeking of external approval began to shift. She started trusting her own judgment more readily.
When Creativity
Gets
Complicated
The second session brought challenges I hadn't anticipated. As we added details with Posca pens, Río encountered creative frustration - that inevitable moment when something doesn't go as planned and you feel you've ruined everything.
Watching her struggle was both painful and illuminating. I felt tremendous empathy while also experiencing my own human frustration with the intensity of her emotions. This became a profound teaching moment about why I'm devoted to creative practice: it develops emotional regulation among many other vital skills and inner capacities.
Creative work teaches us to cope with the unexpected, embrace imperfection, persevere through difficulty, and sometimes discover outcomes better than we imagined. The creative process mirrors our inner landscape - rich, complex, and not meant to be a smooth ride.
Tools for Regulation
When Río hit her frustration peak, I offered options: hugs, deep breaths, movement to shake out the feelings. Sometimes I simply stepped back to see if she could find her own way through, which she often did.
At one point, she took herself to a corner to curl up in frustration. I continued calmly working on my unicorn - this is the power of activities that serve both of us. I could model emotional regulation while staying engaged in my own creative process.
Music played a crucial role too. When she requested different songs, I switched to something she loved, and her energy immediately shifted.
The Power
of Perspective
When we reached the third step - adding gems with superglue - Río became upset with our limited gem selection. It was time for her Spanish class, so I suggested we pause and see how she felt afterward.
That 30-minute break created transformation. She returned peaceful and centered. When I asked if she wanted to continue with gems, she said simply, "No, mommy, that one star gem is enough. I don't want to put more gems on my unicorn. I love it as it is."
The wisdom and groundedness in her response struck me: sometimes stepping away allows us to see our work - and ourselves - with fresh eyes.
Río wanted to write "Río and the eagle make the earth" on her unicorn's tail - such poetic, earth-honoring words from a six-year-old heart. When the writing became challenging to fit, I helped her figure out how to make the letters small enough. She still felt frustrated with the color choice, but a simple music switch helped her release the struggle and find peace with her creation exactly as it was.
The Lasting
Impact
Now we have unicorns that are more than art pieces. They're reminders of what happens when we create together as mother and child, learning and growing in tandem.
They represent the middle way I'm seeking - enriching Río's life while nourishing my own creative spirit.
The creative process showed us how to cope with frustration, take breaks when needed, and return with new perspective. Children can be our greatest teachers in resilience and the power of letting go.
Creating my own unicorn was deeply satisfying in its own right. I enjoyed experimenting with color combinations, adding mystical details that felt meaningful to me, choosing words that resonated with my spirit, and adorning her mane with carefully selected gemstones. This was as much about my creative nourishment as it was about hers. This kind of mutual nourishment feels revolutionary in a culture that often pits parental devotion against personal fulfillment.
What creative activities have surprised you with their deeper lessons?
Try this
Creative Connection
Practice
Ready to create your own middle way experience? This activity works with any wooden shapes, canvases, or heavy paper - the key is finding surfaces that invite exploration without worry.
Simple Steps:
Gather supplies: Wooden shapes (Dollar Tree, Michael's), acrylic paints, brushes, water cups, aluminum foil palettes, protective tablecloth
Create together: Paint base colors freeform - no planning required, just play with color and texture
Let dry completely (perfect break for snacks or other activities or some days!)
Add details: Use Posca paint pens for decorative touches with ease
Allow natural breaks: Step away if frustration arises - perspective often shifts with time
The magic happens not in the final product but in the shared process of creating, moving through the feelings, and discovering what emerges when structure meets authentic expression.
Supplies mentioned:
Wooden shapes: Dollar Tree, Michael's
Blick Studio Acrylics - Set of 48 Colors (at $50+ it's an investment, but will last years and offers abundant play for the whole family & beyond)
Posca paint pens: Available at most art supply stores
Outdoor tablecloth (try the Target outdoor section!)
